Marriage and Wedding |
|
|
TRADITIONAL WEDDINGS
In the past, the weddings had a different form than today. Once a man reached the appropriate age, meaning when he could support a wife, usually around 19 or 20 years of age, his family took responsibility of finding a wife for him. A girl, at the age of 13 to 15 was looked for. If an appropriate candidate for a wife was found, the parents of the girl were approached to discuss the marriage proposal. It was also important that the oldest daughter get married first. Even though the conditions of the marriage contracts were discussed by the third parties (usually the fathers), the bride-to-be had a right to refuse the marriage or ask for favourable terms, whether financial or social. Through all this time, the couple were not allowed to see each other. The bride was not supposed to leave the household in the period between the engagement and the wedding. Once the conditions were agreed, a dowry was paid to the bride, which allowed her to prepare for the wedding. It was mostly spent on clothes, jewellery and perfumes. All these items were shown to others to indicate the financial status of the groom.
The celebrations before the wedding lasted about one week and included performances of music and dance. The bride’s dress for the wedding was colourful and hand made by the female members of the bride’s family, while the man usually wore a dishdasha. The bride would have worn jewellery on her neck, arms and head. Before the wedding, the girl’s hands and feet were decorated with henna, and her hair was washed in jasmine water. In the past, men were also often covered with henna. The preparations of the groom were limited to setting up his house for his future wife; usually, it would have been a separate room in his family house.
The weddings were organized in the houses or tents, and family members cooked traditional food such as biryani and harees. The food was prepared in large amounts as every member of family and every neighbour were welcomed to join the celebration. The party was accompanied with music and traditional dances.
MODERN WEDDINGS
Marriages are still arranged in Ras Al Khaimah, but couples often have a chaperoned meeting prior to the formal engagement. Dowry is substantially higher than in the past, and can be as much as 100,000dhs. The weddings are also rather costly events; and the weddings costing more than 200,000dhs are not unheard off. In 1992, the governmental Marriage Fund was established in the UAE with the goal of helping young UAE nationals to get married by granting them financial assistance for meeting the necessary costs. It was noticed that many Emirati man daunted by the massive cost of marrying a local girl choose less demanding foreign brides. Thus, the fund has been set up to encourage an Emirati man to marry an Emirati woman.
Weddings, often being a one day party, are now organized in large halls. The food, some traditional and some modern dishes, is pre-ordered and served by the halls’ employees. Weddings are segregated; the men spend their time in one hall and the ladies in another. The groom and the legal guardian of the bride sign the actual legal documents prior to the wedding festivities. Although grooms still wear the traditional dishdasha, the brides are now dressed in white and elaborate dresses. The bride is also decorated with henna, however, nowadays at the beauty salons. The party music is played from a stereo or professional singers are invited.
Taking part in a wedding celebration is a great opportunity to get to know local traditions, food and customs. It is an essence of the Arabic culture, and if you are invited to a wedding, do not hesitate to attend. You are not expected to bring a gift, but dress modestly and pay attention to the social conducts of the Arabs.
MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE LAW
The rules and regulations regarding the marriage of nationals and expatriates vary depending on nationality and religion of a couple. Usually, if a couple is of the same religion and nationality, the procedures to marry are generally easy. Since the UAE court does not perform a civil service for marrying people, you will have to contact your church or an embassy of your country. After the marriage, you need to register at the UAE court to have your marriage valid in the UAE. Everyone getting married in the UAE needs to undertake a medical test that screens for Aids, sexually transmitted diseases and other health problems.
If the marriage is between the two people of different religions and/or nationalities, the procedures are more complicated, and thus applicable churches and embassies should be consulted. It is socially accepted if a Muslim man wishes to marry a Christian woman; however, a Christian man will have to convert to Islam before marrying a Muslim woman. Emirati men sometimes marry women of other nationalities and religions, but a situation when Emirati women marry non-Emirati men are extremely rare. Interestingly, Arab Muslims can have up to four wives, but they must be able to provide for each of them equally. In Islam, marriage is a free civil contract. Any special conditions regarding the matrimonial life are included in the contract. For instance, the woman can reserve her right to work or to study. She can also insist on a right to accept possible additional wife or specific living conditions. According to Islam, all Muslims who can physically and financially afford marriage are obliged to do so. At the same time, Islam forbids all extra-marital sexual relationships, homosexuality and adoption. Once married, a Muslim woman should never be alone with any other man than a member of her immediate family (mahram), e.g. son, brother, father in law.
Under Islamic Sharia law, a man can divorce his wife by stating ‘I divorce you’ three times (talaq). It has to be confirmed at the UAE court with both the man and the woman present. Interestingly, the husband can also use a modern means of technology such as text massages, e-mail, or phone to divorce the wife. Women do not share this right and they have to apply for divorce at the court. Additionally, Sharia courts accept divorce appeals from Muslim men of various nationalities, and non-Muslim women married to Muslim men. A woman can be granted a divorce in case she was physically or mentally hurt or her husband did not take care of her or their children. Upon returning of the dowry to the husband, she will obtain a separation in Arabic called khula.
If the divorce applicants are residents of the UAE but non-Muslims, they will be divorced according to the laws of their country, while Muslim residents can either choose their country law (the law of the husband’s country applies) or the Sharia law in the UAE. |
|
